Patrick Nelson (32) is in the throes of organising a bucks party for his best mate, James Peters (30). They have known each other for years, and are about as close as two friends could be. So there was no real decision to be made when it came to Best Man honours. Patrick was touched, and set about organising a bucks party perfectly tailored to his best buddy's interests.
"James is a golf nut. So it's a no-brainer that a round of golf needs to feature. So I've booked a place up the coast near a world-class golf course. We'll head up on the Friday, and I've booked us in for a round on the Saturday. Should be awesome. Also, by coincidence, they have their biggest annual day at the races there that weekend, so we'll head to the local races for a few drinks and soak it all up. Then I was thinking poker or maybe hit up one of the local bars. James isn't really a stripper sort of a dude, and his wife-to-be is the sort who would chop off his balls, so I wasn't thinking we'd have that sort of a party."
Everything was going well and Patrick was excited to put on an amazing weekend with the boys to honour his mate. Then he received a telephone call from Lucas Page (33). Lucas was added to the list of invitees at the last minute by the buck. Patrick was surprised, as he thought he knew all of James's friends. Apparently they played rugby or something together.
Patrick recounted his conversation with Lucas.
"Hey mate. You don't know me. I'm Lucas. But you will probably call me Puke-Us after the bucks in a couple of weeks HAHAHAHA. Hey just calling to introduce myself. And suss out what the go is for the bucks. I heard a crazy rumour there is going to be a distinct lack of pole technicians. That's bullshit, right?"
"Nah that's spot on. James isn't that sort of guy, and it's honestly not what he'd want. In fact, he's even told me that several times and specifically made me promise not to get one."
"Yeah he says that. But everyone loves chicken dippers. And don't forget he's only one person out of... Hey how many people did you invite?"
"There's 12 of us staying in two neighbouring houses near the beach. And yes he's only one of 12, but it's a party in his honour. I have to consider his wishes."
"Yeah well consider them and then fuck them off. Not all of us are young and single and carefree. For some of us who've been married for a while, these random bucks shindigs are about it. So I suggest you start dialing and hook us up a couple of the finest disrobers our hard-earned money can buy."
"Look Luke I'm going to level with you. I've never met you. You claim to be James's mate, but I'm his best friend and I've never heard of you. You clearly don't have his interests at heart. So I've got a compromise that could see everyone getting what they want. Myself, James and all his other friends will head up the coast and have an awesome weekend. And you can go to literally any strip club or brothel you want, in your own time on your own dollar."
Patrick's excitement for the weekend away is now somewhat tempered by the fact that he will have to spend the weekend with a man that he describes as an atrocious bloke. He is also concerned by a rumour that Lucas has passed the tin around, and there may be a couple of strippers showing up whether Patrick likes it or not.