“The cliche of the old man boring everyone to tears still persists. But the research shows that the onset of Punish Monologue Syndrome occurs at an average age of 42.6 years old, which is far earlier than previously thought.”
There is nothing more fun than a rapid-fire exchange of banter at a social occasion. A particularly cheeky, witty exchange between a group of friends or colleagues is such fun that you will often reminisce for days afterwards.
Unfortunately, as we all know, the prospects of high quality banter approaches zero if any member of the group suffers from Punish Monologue Syndrome.
A sufferer of the syndrome will often interject just as a promising exchange of banter is getting started. A comment will remind them of a story, often a story that literally everyone in the group has already heard. And the story will be of such excruciating length that it removes the banter momentum entirely.
For years, Punish Monologue Syndrome has been considered a condition that solely affects the elderly. As soon as it is mentioned, it conjures up images of Grandpa Simpson and similar characters meticulously describing the minor details of a story without a point.
However, research conducted by Finnish company Reikko Research has now shown that the average onset of PMS takes place during middle age, at an average age of 42.6.
We spoke to Topi Nieminen (41), the head researcher at Reikko, and asked if he was as shocked as the rest of us.
“No I really wasn’t. Think about it. Yes of course it is virtually impossible to engage in fun banter when there’s really old people involved in the conversation. But ask yourself this. How often do you really have good banter when there’s 45 year olds around? They’re just as bad. Sure, they don’t forget details as much, but they absolutely love to interrupt the flow of a chat to tell a long, boring story.”
And he may be right. We called a meeting of all the Coastal Tribune's staff for a quick show of hands as to how many think that the average age of 42.6 could possibly be correct. However, the exercise was derailed by a 44 year old who hijacked the meeting to talk about funding cuts at the ABC for some reason.
As the search for a cure to Punish Monologue Syndrome continues, researchers hope that this new information will help shed some light on this debilitating condition.
condition.