Scott John Morrison has been the Australian Federal Treasurer since 21 September 2015. While opinions have been somewhat divided (largely along party lines) as to whether he has done a good job, he is certainly not the least popular member of the Coalition. However, when it was announced today that he was to replace Malcolm Turnbull as the Prime Minister, most people were surprised.
Many had viewed Peter Dutton as a virtual certainty to become our next Prime Minister, largely on the back of comments that Mr Dutton had himself made. This included repeated assertions that he "had the numbers". But he hadn't counted on one major factor that was to weigh heavily against him.
We caught up with a jubilant Mr Morrison, who puts his rise to the top job down to one surprising reason.
"Ever since I met Mr Dutton, I started to notice something strange. When you stand next to him, good things happen. If you're at a cocktail party or fundraiser or something like that, and you place yourself right next to him, people seem to like you more. You seem more fun, more likeable. I've heard people even say it makes you seem more human. The woman that previously found you abhorrent will all of a sudden smile at you. I've always found it to be a generally good idea to stand next to him."
Mr Morrison reveals that he was prepared to bide his time before making a move for the top job, but had to change his mind when he realised that there was an opportunity to stand next to Mr Dutton in doing so.
"I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. You couldn't pass up a shot at the Mount Everest of Australian politics, up against an awful man that the entire Australian population can't stand. He looks like Voldemort and used to be a cop for goodness' sake. You can't make this stuff up."
Mr Morrison also thinks that the Australian public will be so grateful to him merely because he is "not Dutton" that it could even see him through the next election, such is the power of placing himself next to a man of such general crapness.
So the next time you are feeling down, or that your self-esteem could use a nudge, don't reach for a self-help book or actually try to improve yourself. Just try to find Mr Dutton and stand next to him.
It works.