"We always knew she was a politician of incredible fortitude. But what she did today was nothing short of remarkable."
Political commentators and the public at large have been stunned today by the stoicism and sheer grit of one of Australia’s toughest politicians.
Peggy Lancaster, State Member for Infrastructure and Development, was due to announce a new tunnel connecting two sides of a large capital city.
Flanked by several of her colleagues in front of the Australian Flag, she laid out the proposed location and purpose of the tunnel.
But it was when she announced the expected completion date that we got to see what she’s really made of. Without so much as a smirk, chuckle or grin, she looked straight at the camera and said “We expect to cut the ribbon on this exciting project in December 2021.”
Understandably, most of her colleagues immediately burst into laughter, as did the entire press gallery. This is because they all understood that this tunnel, like every major project, would either never be built or at least not for a decade.
After years and years of comical delays on every project they touched, they have now reached a point where they no longer feel bound to pretend that it’s an actual deadline. It’s just a funny joke. Like when a builder tells you how much a renovation will cost.
But not to Lancaster. To her, it is a legitimate expected completion date. Her deputy, Roger Clifton, explains that it’s one of her best qualities.
“Her naive optimism is refreshing. I genuinely think she believes it’ll be completed by then. She’s one of those ‘want to make the world a better place’ politicians. I thought they’d died out. But here she is. Announcing that the project will be completed by Twenty........ I’m sorry.”
We then had to wrap up the interview, as Mr Clifton began to convulse with rather undignified laughter.
That 2021 date really sets him off.