“Just take one step on that thing there. Oh yep. Looks like you’ve got a slight instep bro.”
Connor McPherson (34) was having a feed at the food court of Warrington Mall this morning when he remembered he needed a new pair of runners. He then popped into the Athlete’s Foot next door.
It was as soon as he was greeted by a fourteen year old kid saying “What’s crackin’ bro?” that he remembered exactly why he hadn’t been into an Athlete’s Foot shop for a good 15 years or so.
“Not much mate. Just thinking of getting these runners. Can I try a pair on?”
The little fuckstick, who went by the name of Jarryd, then explained that it was nowhere near that simple. This would be far more of a baffling ordeal than that.
“Dude we should check that shoe is going to work for you. Take a step on this bad boy here and we’ll make sure everything’s aligned and doing what it should.”
Every fibre of Jarryd’s being told him that he should tell Jarryd where he could shove his walk-analysing contraption and leave the store.
But no. Humiliated, he followed the benevolent but barely pubescent dictator’s order and stepped on the stupid machine.
“Ooh. Looks like you’ve got a slight instep bro. That shoe’s not going to support your arch enough. I’d go for this one here, and maybe an orthodic.”
Again, Connor lacked the kahunas to take his business elsewhere, and followed the budding little podiatrist’s advice.
He left the store feeling dirty and abused.