Sources close to the man say that it truly is a miracle that he manages to get through each day alive. Such is the difficulty he has with everyday tasks that the rest of us take for granted. Like not losing stuff.
When Drayden “The Gronk” Fenton was 20, he headed off on his first overseas holiday, being a trip to Thailand with a few mates. Unfortunately, about a year later, when he next planned an overseas trip, his passport was nowhere to be seen.
He had absolutely no idea what he’d done with it. But one thing was for sure. Because of the inconvenience of replacing his passport, and the rather horrendous cost, he promised himself that he would never, ever let it happen again.
He has repeatedly broken that promise at literally every opportunity. And it’s something our local gronk is not proud of.
We caught up with a very distraught Drayden.
“Yeah so my girlfriend’s best friend is getting married in Bali. Should be fun. And everything’s pretty much sorted. Except Old Mate. My passport. No idea where that fucken thing is.”
“Like seriously did I just get home from our last trip and chuck it in the bin or something? Or maybe set fire to it? This is such a pain in the arse, and that replacement fee would’ve been better spent on Bintang I’ll give you the tip.”
Drayden’s girlfriend Zara explains that the situation is more dire than Drayden realises.
“I’m at the end of my tether with that boy hey. My parents have been at me for ages saying he's a dropkick and I could do better and stuff like that. And I've always defended him. But Drayden reckons the person at the post office said that he might not get his passport in time for the wedding. I swear if he isn't at that wedding, and I'm on that plane by myself, we're done.”
“Maybe I'll meet Ketut over there or something. But seriously he's had enough chances. You know he's got a track record with this sort of stuff right? He did it last holiday too."
We didn't have the heart to tell her that he's now on a rather impressive five-holiday streak. He's in enough trouble already.