The family was pretty excited about heading to the beach. Alice dressed the kids, packed sunscreen, changes of clothes, nappies, buckets and spades and whatnot. Her husband then took a late but enthusiastic interest in making sure everything was sorted.
Jackson Bogues and his wife Alice decided to take their kids to the beach today. The weather was lovely, and the kids always sleep like babies after a play at the beach and a swim.
Alice meticulously packed a big bag of clothes, nappies, sunscreen and everything else you could think of to make sure that everyone had a good day without lacking any beach necessities.
During that time, Jackson rummaged around the house looking for his boardies and a shirt to wear. Both of which he accomplished shortly before it was time to leave.
When the family was in the car, he grabbed the keys and opened the car door. And that was when he made his contribution towards ensuring that the family was ready for a lovely day.
He loudly inquired "We got everything babe?"
He was in a great mood, and explains that he was shocked at the look on his wife's face when he asked the question.
"I truly don't get it. Surely it's an appropriate question. What sort of husband and father would I be if I didn't ask? It'd be borderline negligent to just get in the car and head off to the beach without asking. She gave me a really greasy look, but honestly I don't think she realises how annoying it would be if we got there and we didn't have everything. I was just being prudent."
We suggested that perhaps she wasn't upset that he had asked the question, and that maybe the issue was his level of assistance in packing for the day out.
"What? Did she not see how hard it was for me to find my boardies? I think I did well to retrieve them at all. They were under the bloody bed, with a bunch of my other clothes. I must've kicked them under there after the last time we went to the beach or something. But they were really hard to find, because they were mixed in with a bunch of my other clothes under there. I don't think she actually realises what was involved in finding them. I turned the place upside down. Everything she packed was right in the place it was sposed to be. That would've made it a breeze."
Alice was less than impressed at his explanation.
"Every time it's something. Every time. There's always some minuscule aspect of his own personal preparation that seems to preclude him from doing anything else. Last week, we had a sort of family reunion thing with my extended family. I dressed myself, the kids and all sorts of other shit. He reckons he couldn't do much of that because he had to iron a shirt that had some stubborn creases. That's his actual words. Stubborn creases."
According to Alice, she can cop the entire process. She just doesn't expect any better. But there is something about about the way he asks if she's "got everything" that makes her want to punch his lazy, inquisitive face.
Jackson best start trusting that she's got things sorted.