"See that guy over there babe. I'm like 90% sure he's that guy who signed with Manly from the Warriors."
Ryan Peedy and his girlfriend Sarah Ellis popped out to the shops this morning, to grab some threads for Ryan's new job.
They were walking past the Industrie section in the David Jones menswear department when they saw a very solidly built bloke of Pacific Island heritage. Ryan then proceeded to do what he always bloody does when presented with a Pacific Islander who could accurately be described as a "unit".
He declared himself "pretty sure" that he knows him. That he's "almost certain" that he's a Rugby League player.
"See that guy over there babe? I'm like 90% sure he's that guy who signed with Manly from the Warriors. I can't remember his name but. It's like Maa or Faa something. It'll come to me. But yeah I'm borderline certain it's him. Solid player too."
Sarah tends to respond by saying "Oh cool" or something like that.
However, she revealed to Coastal Tribune that she doesn't necessarily 100% believe him.
"Oh yeah so the first time he pointed someone out... It was supposedly Steve Matai. I legit thought it was really cool that we saw a proper NRL star. But then I got home and Googled him and he didn't really look like the guy we saw at the shops. Same hairstyle I spose but seriously I was just pretty sure it wasn't him. And now it's just ridiculous. Every single time he sees some Pacific Islander dude who looks strong I know he's gonna tell me it's a bloody professional footy player. Every. Single. One. They can't all be! Like I know there's a fair few who are. But not bloody every single one."
When Tonga plays Somoa, she jokes with him that all the guys from the shops have decided to get together for a match.
That is not banter that he enjoys.
She also explained that she is particularly unconvinced by today's celeb-spotting.
"I feel like he's not even trying any more. He didn't even have a name for today's effort. Just telling me it's 'some guy from the Warriors'. Give me a break. Plus today's guy looked pretty strong, but he didn't look like a professional athlete. Just some guy who goes to the gym a bit. The weird thing is, though, that I don't think he's trying to bullshit me. I think he actually believes it."
Sarah may well be onto something. Ryan went to a pretty posh school that wasn't exactly teeming with Pacific Islanders. In fact, he hasn't met many of them in his life. Most of the Islanders he knows are from footy on TV. So it kind of makes sense that he has that inbuilt association.
But seriously dude. Enough's enough.