It is a role that is only very rarely vacant. And when it is, pay attention. That dude is destined for greatness.
In pretty much every office in Australia, the staff will temporarily congregate to acknowledge each employee’s birthday. Without question, the most important role in the process is the instigator of the three vital cheers at the end of the butchering of the Happy Birthday song.
Most offices have a boss or other senior figure who does the honours. However, occasionally, there will be a power vacuum in the birthday room, whether due to illness, misadventure or otherwise. The experts agree that when this happens, you should pay very close attention.
Leslie Avery is a senior partner at Technical Psychometrics, one of those companies that does those lame personality tests for employees. We discussed with Leslie just how much insight can be gained from a birthday-related power vacuum.
“A huge part of my job is seeking to ascertain who within an organisation is leadership material. It’s really hard. We generally just use questionnaires and surveys, but to be honest they’re pretty much not worth the paper they’re written on. Most people know what to answer to put their best foot forward. But the guy who steps up to say “hip hip”... Well he’s a certainty to run the place one day. All other employees should be terrified of them."
Leslie explains that stepping up to three cheers duty is a wonderful form of workplace territorial pissing. A show of leadership and dominance.
“Yeah look people traditionally just see it as a role for the biggest tool in the office. A generally annoying human being. But while that is an extremely correct assessment, that person will one day run the joint. So it may be worth everyone trying to cosy up to that particular wanker.”
So you have two choices. Either get on the good side of your douchey future leader, or step up to the plate and hip hip your way to the top.