“When the guy asked me if I wanted to start a tab, I knew the sensible answer was no. But I’m the highly suggestible type.”
Elias Dimos organised a get-together last night at the Burley Fox, to celebrate his girlfriend’s birthday.
About an hour into the night, the wanker who had been acting like he was splitting atoms when he made drinks asked if Elias would find it easier to just start a tab.
Elias’ inner voice was absolutely spot on when it reminded him that he can not by any means be trusted to remember to grab his card on the way out.
But that first thought was then replaced by a far crappier second thought, that went as follows.
“Yeah but think, man. The fact that I have acknowledged that I usually forget it means that I will be extra vigilant this time, and if I try really hard to remember then I’m sure I will.”
Utter crap. The next time he gave his card a moment’s thought was when he woke up this morning, absolutely gutted that he had to return to the scene of the crime.
Elias explained his predicament.
"I feel like absolute ratshit hey. I did a real number on myself. I don't remember licking an ashtray but it really feels like I must have. And then I just remembered that I left my card with that dickhead behind the bar. Now I have to drag my sorry arse back in there. Oh God I hope that bartender isn't there again today. I think I even got a bit lippy with him at the end!"
Elias has then come up with a rather spineless and pathetic solution to his problem. He has asked the birthday girl to run in while he waits in the car, so he doesn't have to see old mate behind the bar.
Poor form, Elias.