“If anyone ever asked me about my mates, I would have described them as the funniest group of lads you could ever be lucky enough to hang out with. Now I’m wondering if maybe that’s not true at all. And I was just too drunk to notice.”
Jason Matic loves his mates. They always have an awesome time together, particularly when they’re on the sauce.
He is particularly proud of the “epic banter” that they engage in, no matter what the topic.
However, last night, Jason did something he hasn’t done for a long time. He’s on a bit of a health kick, so he decided to play the role of dezzo driver for some low-key drinks for his mate Michael’s birthday. He drove his best couple of friends to the pub, stayed on the soft drinks all night, then drove them home.
However, very soon after arriving, Jason realised something wasn't quite right. Jason reckons that their usual banter was just a little off.
“Yeah everyone’s normally so funny and witty and shit. I've always said our group are the funniest lads on the piss you could ever meet. But last night. I dunno. You know that thing that happens sometimes where someone says something really funny, like a funny one-liner or something, and everyone pisses themselves? And then someone riffs off the back of it with another good call and everyone just keeps laughing? Well that was happening, except the one-liners and calls were rubbish or didn't even make sense. Everyone was just saying the dumbest things and then everyone would piss themselves. The banter was just terrible.”
Jason hadn’t been the designated driver for a very long time before last night, and it was the first time he had been stone cold sober in the presence of his drunken friendship group. He confesses that he found them loud and boring.
He had to face up to the fact that there were really only two possibilities. Either they were all having a really off night for some reason. Or, and Jason admits this is far more likely, their banter is always a bit shit and he was just too drunk to notice.
We spoke to Jason's mate Lenny, to find out he if he noticed anything off about the evening.
"Are you joking? Last night was epic! We had the funniest convos ever. Why who thought it wasn't? Oh let me guess. Jason. He just had a crap time because he was dezzo and he was being boring. Of course he didn't realise how classic the banter was."
Jason has learnt his lesson. He has thought long and hard about whether to re-evaluate the group of mates that he usually heads to the pub with. And he's decided he doesn't need to. He even became a bit deep and spiritual about it.
"If banter is rubbish but no one is sober to realise it, then is the banter really terrible at all? That's gonna be my new approach."
Doesn't sound like he'll be bringing his car keys into the pub any time soon.