“Our whole system is based on the good guy with a gun saving the day. Our approach hasn’t been working, so we need to get tough.”
Nearly every country in the world has at some stage had to deal with the scourge of gun violence.
Opinions are frequently divided about the best way to curtail gun violence. Some countries have sought to reduce the number of guns in circulation, believing that a corresponding drop in gun crime would follow.
That may seem like a good idea, and it certainly has support from the statistics. However, the United States has subscribed to its own rather ingenious solution. Essentially, their strategy relies on a heroic character known as the “good guy with a gun”.
To summarise, their approach works like this. You can make guns extremely available. Like really easy to get. So guns will be easily available to lots of good guys. So every time some lunatic grabs a gun to murder a bunch of innocent people at the shops or something, a sane hero will also bring his gun to the shops at the same time. It’s bloody brilliant.
However, the US approach, while clearly a very clever policy, hasn’t been working the way everyone had hoped. There’s still been a fair few mass murders. Which is a bit of a shame.
A solution is desperately needed, and a group of genius lawmakers believe they may have stumbled upon it. They are calling for severe punishments for good guys who forget their guns. This means that if you are a good guy, and you go to the movies or shops or a primary school without your gun, and a bad guy with a gun commits a mass-murder, then you can expect to feel the full force of the law.
Senator Bubba Jenson says that it’s just a matter of common sense.
“Our model needs the good guy with a gun. He is a vital piece of the puzzle. Without him, the whole system falls apart. At the moment, the lunatics are playing their part. They’re carrying their guns everywhere. Now the good guys have to start doing their freaking job. All the shootings that I hear about all the time- it’s always bad guys. I'm sick of it always being the bad guys doing all the shooting. I wanna read about some good guys shooting some bad guys. Like on the movies.”
Hopefully a little jail for these good guys will get them to pull their fingers out and start shooting.