"To the casual observer, these sort of incredibly subtle and virtually inperceivable cues will go unnoticed. However, these experts can pick up on things that will fly right over the head of the average lay person."
In the aftermath of the US Presidential election, various claims have been made in respect of the election and how it was conducted. When these claims have been presented to the courts for determination, the courts have, so far, overwhelmingly rejected any claims of impropriety in respect of the conduct of the election.
However, as we wait to find out whether any of the remaining claims have any substance, an impatient public is simply not willing to wait to find out what the courts have to say when presented with the evidence.
To the ordinary person, it is simply impossibly to tell whether those making the claims are the full quid, or whether they are extracting the urine for some sort of ulterior purpose. To us, the unwashed masses, this task is impossible. Trump, Giuliani and all the relevant players are consummate professionals.
However, according to Steve Phippens and his crack team of body language experts, there are some subtle clues to pick up on.
"Yeah so look at this footage of Giuliani, for instance. It's difficult to pick up, because of his wild gesticulating and flailing and general inability to keep still, but see there? A slight flaring of his left nostril. that's the sort of sign we're looking for."
Phippens also explained that one of the telltale signs he looks for is a slight wrinkle near the hairline alongside the right ear. However, Phippens explains that, unfortunately, this was obscured in the latest footage.
"Yeah that's a shame. We have developed a means of determining whether a speaker is 100% legit according to whether or not there is a slight wrinkling of the skin alongside the ear when they speak. However, we were unable to monitor this, as it was obscured by a river-like flow of blackish-brown liquid inexplicably pouring from Mr Giuliani's remaining hair. So we weren't able to use that technique to figure out if he's the full quid."
Unfortunately, it looks like we've got nothing to go on.