Sick, Twisted Single Uncle Gives Shrill, Repetitive Noise-Emitting Present To Nephew

Uncle Steve had a sly, devious grin on his face as he watched his brother’s face as the kids opened their presents.

Uncle Steve has given some pretty terrific presents to his nieces and nephews at today’s Christmas get-together. This has made him popular with everyone. Everyone, that is, except his brother James and his wife.

This is because Uncle Steve chose a wonderfully shrill, obnoxious noise-emitting piece of shit to give James’ youngest son Elliot.

“What? I had no idea” explained a somewhat unconvincing Uncle Steve.

“That noise is charming and fun! I particularly love how it makes that noise literally every time you touch it. I can’t even see an off button. It must be hidden somewhere. Anyway, I’m sure they’ll figure it all out. Plus... how cool is it that the loud voice thing has an American accent! That’s everyone’s favourite sound isn’t it?”

Uncle Steve started to find it difficult to keep a straight face.

“This has nothing to do with the fact that he got me a $10 bottle of wine for my 40th birthday either. I promise. I just reckon his kids will love playing with this wonderful contraption. Especially first thing in the morning.”

“Hopefully”, explained Uncle Steve, “it’ll be one of those awesome presents that randomly makes loud noises every now and again even when it’s in the spare room and nobody has even touched it. Everyone loves them.”