“I get the feeling they’re onto my plan. So this will require patience, stealth and precision. But it’ll be worth it.”
Ever since the Lanningham family gathered as a family last night to listen to Christmas music and put up their Christmas tree, little Andre has been planning an epic take-down of the rather impressive monument.
We caught up with the cheeky little shit, to discuss his favourite month of the year, and his epic plans.
"Last night, after mum and dad had had a few wines, we finished decorating the tree. I was responsible for the lowest layer of the tree, because I'm a shorty. I did a better job than everyone else, because my layer easily had the most decorations. Especially the round ones. From that moment, I decided that I simply had to take the whole thing down."
According to Andre, he has made his own life difficult.
"I got greedy and impatient. When everyone was still gathered around looking at the tree, I made several poorly-disguised attempts to bring it down. I'm such a fucking amateur. I just lunged at it in front of everyone, and dad intercepted me. So now everyone's on high alert. That means I'm going to have to pick my moment really carefully.
Andre plans to strike this weekend.
"So I was feeling pretty worried about my chances of bringing the thing down. Mum and Dad have been watching me like a hawk since my initial attempts. However, there's a bit of luck on my side. My older sister has a December birthday this weekend. And the party is at our house. So while Mum and Dad are in the throes of entertaining, I will strike. It will be my finest moment. It will be pure madness and chaos. There will be so much attention coming my way. I'm sure some of the attention will be negative. But guess what? I can't even tell the difference. To me, all attention is good attention. So it''ll be mint."
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